SETTING CHILDREN UP FOR SUCCESS–I am, I can, I ought, I will

As I’ve made the transition to more of Ms. Mason’s methods, I am struck at how she had the best interest of the children at heart. She knew, unlike most modern educators (I am speaking of the main stream system), that children “can” if they think they can. Her motto “I am, I can, I ought, I will” addressed the child’s heart–and adults as well. Modern self-improvement methods are based on a similar philosophy but their motto is usually something like “If I can dream it, I can achieve it”. Ms. Mason’s motto, however, was more complete and focused on the whole person.

“I am…” This statement frames the child’s existence and causes him to put his own identity into balance with all of creation. I believe Ms. Mason was profound at starting with human self-definition as the first part of her motto. “I am a child of God.”

“I can…” speaks to the ability. My 10-year-old daughter loved to say, “I can’t” whenever she was faced with something challenging. Now that I have taught Ms. Mason’s motto to her, she seldom says it. And when I do have to remind her, there is a trace of a smile that comes to her face as she lets the idea soak into her soul. She likes believing in herself. It is helping to form her identity.

If it weren’t for Ms. Mason, I would not have focused on teaching her “I can…” I had erroneously assumed that my daughter new that I would not give her a task that she could not do. For one reason, I was always there to teach her and help her, but I never actually taught her this. I had skipped a step. She needed reassurance and confidence, and I failed at giving that to her. That is until I delved a little deeper into Ms. Mason’s methods.

“I ought…” Ought addresses whether or not something should be done. Ms. Mason taught children that obeying their parents was directly related to obeying God. The bible teaches “If you love me, obey my commandments.” Obedience is an act of love toward God. Obeying one’s parents is an act of love toward God. Doing one’s schoolwork is an act of love toward God.

“I will…”Once a child realizes that he should do what has been asked of him, he then has to decide whether or not he will. This reminds me of a sermon my husband and I heard many years ago. The preacher of the church we were visiting titled it “Willing and Able”. He talked about two donkeys; one called willing, and the other able. Obviously, one was willing but wasn’t able, and the other was able, but not willing. We still laugh about those donkeys. But from that lesson, I learned that one must be both willing and able before one can take action.

This seems obvious on the surface. But most problems with procrastination and disobedience are born out of a lack of determination, not ability. Children need to be taught that everything they do is born out of their own will. They either chose to do or not do their work. They chose to follow the crowd or not to follow the crowd. That knowledge of self-will makes them aware of their responsibility and empowers them to make choices. It helps to internally motivate.

Charlotte Mason knew all of this, and she taught it to her students and set them up for success. She put within them the idea of who they are–I am. She taught them to believe in themselves–I can. She taught them why they should–I ought because God requests it of me. And she taught them determination–I will.

From studying Ms. Mason’s motto, I have learned that a child needs to be taught that his self-identity comes from God, his abilities come from God, his desires should be to please God, and he has to will himself to take action. When a child knows “I am, I can, I ought, I will,” he can approach any task given to him with the right attitude. He does his best. But if not taught this self-identity before hand, a child is apt to answer these questions for himself based on the results of his efforts.

Just think, if a child doesn’t like to do his math and doesn’t want to do his math, he will only try half-heartedly to complete the work. After many weeks and months of producing sub-par work, he begins to define himself as being bad at math and feels like a failure. The self-definition is produced from his output.

But if a child is taught “I am a child of God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I ought to be obedient. I will be obedient.” He starts his math lessons knowing who he is before he ever answers a question. Not only that, but he tries his best because failure won’t define him. He is released from the fear of failing.

I had to learn to teach to my child’s heart and address her self-awareness, her beliefs, her reason, and her internal motivation. Every time she is faced with a challenge, it is now an opportunity for her to grow, but it cannot define who she is. But if my daughter had not been taught this from the beginning, then her identity may have been formed from her successes or her failures.

“I am, I can, I ought, I will” has changed the way we do school. And because of it, I feel that I am setting my children up for success.