HOW PRAYER CHANGES THINGS

My background isn’t in writing although I have been writing most of my life. I have a BS in Chemical Engineering. Do I ever hate engineering. The only good thing about it was meeting my dh. We met at the Chemical Plant; toxic fumes, and love, were in the air.

While we dated, we both wanted to be doctors–me more than him. I went to night school and took all of the pre-requisites, but I didn’t study enough. I was too busy dating.:) I did, however, get accepted into medical school as an alternate. I’m not sure where I was on the list, but I never called to check. We got married instead.

I was really happy. Then we had kids, and I became even happier. I loved being a wife and a mom. Then we started homeschooling, and I was even happier. That is until I began dropping all of my hobbies so that I could be a wife, a mom, and a teacher. Everything I did, I did for .them I even quit exercising so that I could teach the kids during the day, and be home with my dh at night.

After a few years of this new level of commitment, I began to feel overwhelmed in a bad way. I began to feel down, but I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t realize that I was becoming burned out. I was giving, but not being filled. My husband didn’t understand because these feelings were new and sort of blindsided him.

I think what made it really bad was that my best friend moved to Germany. She was the one I would drop my kids to when I needed a break. She came to my house in the middle of the night and stayed with my children when I went into labor with number 4. We talked everyday on the phone together. We were really close, and then she was gone. That, on top of my self-sacrifice, just did me in. And my dh didn’t realize how close we were because he wasn’t involved in that girl friend relationship.

Anyway, I remember the day that a simple little prayer changed my life. I was folding laundry and watching some TV minister. I can’t remember what the minister was saying, but all of a sudden I stopped what I was doing and said one little prayer. I said, “Lord, please don’t let your plans for me pass me by.” I felt lost and I felt as if I were stranded out in the ocean and life was happening somewhere else. And I felt as if God had a lifeboat out there somewhere for me, but I didn’t know where it was nor how to find it.

Within a few days of that prayer, my life changed. I had known how important copywork was because of Charlotte Mason and The Well Trained Mind. I had been using First Language Lessons and had been trying to incorporate more copywork into our lessons. But the project of picking a new selection daily was driving me nuts. I’m just not that organized, and I was already becoming overwhelmed with having to make new decisions every day. (That will be another post some time.)

So I began to pull together our copywork from public domain resources. My intent was that these would benefit only my children. I had so much fun doing the research, I couldn’t sleep. I worked every chance I got on those copywork selections. Three months later, I realized that I had written a different type of copybook which has grown into Write from History.

But this isn’t really about the books. It’s about the prayer. I know in my heart that God gave me the idea to start writing curriculum. And he gave me the resources to do it. In fact, I believe with my whole heart that my foot injury is a blessing. Because if it had not been for that, I wouldn’t be writing and pursuing all of these new found hobbies. God has blessed me all of my life, and while there is so much heartache and suffering in the world, He’s still blessing little ole me. I just can’t understand why God is so, so, so unbelievably good to me.

He knew just what I needed. He gave a project that energizes and rewards me. And most people don’t understand how or why. In fact, neither do I. A friend actually suggested to me that I quit writing new books and focus on marketing, because I’m simply not doing any. But I can’t do that, at least not right now. For me, the blessing is in the fact that God is letting me do this. I am having so much fun, and I’m learning so much new information. Research is my favorite part of writing. And better yet, I’m not down or sad anymore. I can’t wait to get to my computer and start writing curricula. I have ideas about things I can’t even begin to work on because I don’t have the time. My cup is overflowing with ideas, and I know the source of ideas and my blessings.

The only sad part of this post is that I haven’t really given God enough of me. I’ve been feasting off of his blessings, but I haven’t been filling my heart with enough of Him. That’s my new prayer.